Tag Archives: golf laughs

Funny Golf Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a lost golf ball and the G-spot?
A: A man will spend 5 minutes looking for the lost golf ball.

What do golf and sex have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.

Two golfers were sitting at the 19th hole discussing their games this year when one says to the other,
” My game is so bad this year I had to have my ball retriever regripped !”

Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: WHACK…”Damn”! A bad Skydiver goes: “Damn”!…WHACK.

You know it’s too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes.

What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even God can’t hit a 1-iron!

The only difference between driving in golf and driving a car is that when you drive a car you don’t want to hit anything.

My uncle, who has golfed all his life, has his own definition of the word G.O.L.F.: Getting Old and Living Fine!

Two long time golfers were standing over looking the river. One golfer looked to the other and said, “Look at those idiots fishin’ in the rain.”

What are the four worst words you could hear during a game of golf?
It’s still your turn!

A golfer has one advantage over a fisherman.
He doesn’t have to produce anything to prove his story.

The other day I was playing golf and I hit two of my best balls.
I stepped on a rake.

Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: A foursome

“What is a handicapped golfer?”
“One who plays with his boss,” came the reply.

By David Thompson